Internationally known for pioneering the field of Behavioral Genetics, Daniel Whiteside and his partner Gordon Stokes, created a behavioral barometer used as part of a very impactful healing modality called One-Brain. The barometer has three levels – conscious, subconscious, and cellular. Stokes and Whiteside explained that emotions reside on all three levels of the barometer, except we are not able to understand their significance on the subconscious and cellular level unless we read the body’s signals through muscle testing.
So, why am I telling you this? Probably because when you go into stress concerning a child who is oppositionally defiant or is determined to make your life miserable, because he or she is miserable, try remembering that when the brain registers stress, it sends a signal when there is any deviation from our comfort zone or our sense of control.
There goes our self-esteem in an instant! We go into panic mode (like the fight or flight response) when we don’t recognize the correct response to a situation, and the sub-conscious sends out an alarm to get you back on track. In trying to get you back on track, you get stressed out and even panicked.
Reality and illusion – the brain doesn’t know the difference!
To avoid panic and stress, you’ll revert back to everything you know until the external world matches your internal world. We need to know how to trick the brain because it doesn’t know the difference between reality and illusion. If we can trick the brain into looking at the situation in a different way, we’ll be able to reprogram the way we respond to stressors in our lives (Gordon Stokes and Daniel Whiteside, Advanced One-Brain, 2005).
Remember, you are always at choice to help yourself and to not wallow in a victim status feeling impotent to change things. We can either be like the mythological Sisyphus, endlessly pushing a giant boulder up the hill only to have it roll down again, or we can choose to change the game plan.
Mothers perform for their families, trying to do everything the correct way and hoping that their families will flourish. They often put themselves last. It is extremely stressful, and probably many mothers harbor resentment, even if it is unconscious. Bottom line – you won’t be good to anyone unless you take responsibility for your own happiness, loving yourself and letting go of past beliefs.