I’d like to talk about Goal Setting. I do it in the classroom, and I would suspect you have set some goals for yourself and your children. I think the most important thing we are all trying to accomplish, is to be clear with our goals. I go over the goals in the classroom at the beginning of the term, and they are taped to the walls of my classroom for review from time to time when I think it’s necessary.
With clear goals, you act in a way which is positive and consistent with the goal. Without clear goals for yourself and your kids, you become reactive and ineffective, oftentimes becoming frustrated.
Ultimately it is our goals and our vision that determine our behavior. It is so important to be clear in what you are trying to achieve with a child because it takes you out of the realm of unconscious repetition of the past, and focuses your actions into behavior which moves you and your child in a positive direction.
I would suggest you make a list of goals. I’ll give you some examples which you can adapt to your own needs. Look at the goals when you start your day because it helps keeps your behavior consistent with what you would like to achieve. Also, it’s a good idea to reflect on whether your behavior is getting you what you want for yourself and your child. If not, go back to the drawing board.
These are goals suggested by physician, psychiatrist, teacher and head of Amen Clinics, Dr. Daniel G. Amen in his audio book, “New Skills For Frazzled Parents”.
* Be Involved with your child, and make sure you have enough time for him/her.
* Be Open – talk with them in such a way they feel they will talk to you when they need to.
* Be Firm – set limits until the child develops his own moral and internal controls.
* Be Together – whether married or divorced.
* Be Kind – raise children in such a way they’ll want to come see you after they leave home.