Many parents and educators have pondered these questions.
* Why does my child get so stressed out at school and anger so easily?
* Why does my daughter try to copy her friends’ attitudes and attire which is often inappropriate, unhealthy, or disrespectful?
* Why does my child care so much about what others think?
* Why does my child, whom I know is capable, do so poorly in school?
The answer is that these children have formed beliefs buried in their subconscious so they are not aware of them, and are responding to you with hostility or aggression. They just don’t understand why you won’t “get off their case”.
Most of our actions (about 98%) are programs running in the subconscious mind. Many of these deeply held beliefs which trigger upsetting behavior, are based on the interpretation of how we see and interact with our world. Remember, you are the role model.
So, how do you help children create a level of personal responsibility that allows them to succeed? You’ll need to become completely aware of how you react in everyday situations. You’ll need to admit when you are wrong, and speak out about how you would correct your own behavior or thoughts when they are negative or self-deprecating. That means, you’ll have to do some inner work and get in touch with why and how you are reacting in certain ways. It takes work and discipline.
Two techniques I use to get in touch with my negative feelings and resistance to change include, The Emotional Freedom Techniques which you can google and see demonstrated. EFT helps you release blocked emotions, and gets you to a place of peace and neutrality. The technique uses meridian tapping on certain points around you face and upper body to move the Chi or energy through your electrical system where it is blocked. This includes blocked emotions.
Another technique I recommend is very simple and powerful. It is an ancient Hawaiian/Polynesian healing technique called, ho’oponopono and can also be googled. The technique supports harmonious relationships between people, nature, and spirit. The culture speaks of a BOWL OF LIGHT and states, “Every child is born at birth with a bowl of perfect light. If he tends his light during his life, it will grow in strength, and he can do many things: swim with sharks, fly with hawks, know and understand things.”
If however, he becomes resentful or envious, he drops a stone into his BOWL OF LIGHT. Since light and stone cannot hold the same space, a little of the light goes out.
Keep your child’s BOWL OF LIGHT illuminated.