Which Type of Parent Are You?

According to recent research from the Amen Clinics, leaders in brain research and neuro development, there are four types of parents. You may fit into one of these categories, and it is interesting to take note.

The first type of parent is loving and firm. – This is the most effective parent according to the research because a loving and firm parent demands respect and believes their child needs to mind them the first time. They’re also reinforcing and warm, positive and uplifting. They know how to give options to the child, and yet they have high expectations for good behavior.

The second type of parent is loving and permissive. The upside is that these parents are certainly loving and kind, and the downside is they are enablers. When a parent is too permissive, it is not healthy for the child. When a child is used to getting their way through tantrums and manipulation, what happens is that the behavior continues at school, with peers, and into later life.

Another type of parent is known to be hostile and firm. This is a Military Sergeant type of parent. They want it done their way, and there is no compromising. They get their way through anger and intimidation.

Last on the list is the hostile and permissive parent. – This is a uniquely bad combination according to the research. Here we have a parent who is really inadequate to raise a child, as they don’t care, and are detached from the child. There is a total lack of bonding, and inadequate supervision of the child. The kids living with this type of parent will usually grow up not caring about others, and can even hurt others without it affecting their conscience, and without a clear direction in their lives.

A Strategy for Disorganized Kids

More often than not, I speak with a parent who finds going through their child’s backpack a depressing thought.  Within it may be a homework assignment due the previous week, or a book report that was due the previous quarter!  I’ve certainly experienced this with my students, and I’m sure at some time you’ve seen examples of this.

Parents and teachers need to understand that disorganization is an outgrowth of a neurodevelopmental profile, and that the challenges include attention processing, and disorganization of space and materials, such as the desk, locker, and……”gulp”……backpack.

Weaknesses in active working memory can cause disorganized thinking, such as in writing an essay, or not being able to put things in sequential order.  Time management also is an issue, so the child never seems to complete long term projects.

If you recognize any of these symptoms, what do you do about it?

In his book, “How Can My Kid Succeed in School?”, expert in the field, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D.  explains, “One strategy is to use a rating scale with 1 being a total state of disarray and 10 representing the ultimate organization.  If you discuss the scale with your child and ask him to rate himself, he might choose a 2 and understand his disorganization.  This may inspire him to work harder and go for a 4 the next time.  This in itself is encouraging, and could resolve academic difficulties as the child may be inclined to hand in his homework on time.”